To Love and To Lie
by hardcoreWWnut
Summary: Irina and Yelena talk with each other durning "Truth Takes Time".
1. Truths Untold

**Summary** : I always walked to know what Emily and Irina said each other on the plane after Emily found out Irina was still alive in "Truth Takes Time".   
  
**Note** : This is my first Alias fic. Feedback is welcome (good or bad)! Also, the spelling of names were taken from the closed captioning. 

**Warning** : Very small spoiler from "Crossing" and if it's even a spoiler at this point, a bit from "Truth Takes Time".   
  
**Disclaimer** : I own nothing. The beginning dialogue was taking from episode 18 of season 2.  
  
**- - - - Chapter One : Truths Untold - - - -**  
  
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_"What are you doing here with a woman who died 20 years ago?"   
  
"What I'm pursuing is truth."   
  
"Truth? Good. Well, that explains it all. I guess you and I are looking for the same thing." _  
  
"Truth." The word rung though Irina's head as she walked into the back of the plane. She knew of course that Emily would accompany Sloane here but she had not been fully prepared to see the two of them together after so long.   
  
Looking around the small cabin she now stood in, Irina saw the mini bar and walked over to it. Irina was not a heavy drinker, truth be told, she almost never drank in the company of others. As glass of wine with dinner was about it. Her life style required her to be sharp and alert all the time, but now, she reasoned with herself, was one of those times when a drink was needed. Grabbing a tumbler and a bottle of Scottish Whisky she sat down in one of the leather chairs by the window.   
  
"1968" She read the label aloud to no one but herself. Her mind drifted back to her eighteenth birthday, remembering a much simpler time. It had been the last year she'd spent with her family before being recruited by the KGB. Her father had given her a bottle of whisky, proclaiming she was now a women. Ever since that evening, when she gathered with her sisters they'd always had a few sips of the liquor. A small reminder of life before "intelligence".  
  
Irina did not know how long she'd been sitting there when Emily walked in. Dropping into the chair across from Irina, Emily stared at the other woman for a moment, a smile playing on her lips.   
  
"Arvin is resting." Emily said lightly.   
  
Irina nodding, knowing that they were now free to talk. "Your acting is as good as I remember it." Irina said, causing Emily to smirk.   
  
"I thought demanding the truth would help sell my innocence in this matter."   
  
"So you didn't tell him?" Irina asked, surprised.   
  
Emily's cheerful demeanor vanished as Irina questioned her. She knew it was going to come up, she just did not want to get into an augment about when to tell her husband the truth. "No," she whispered. "It's not the time." This was an augment she'd been having with herself for the last twenty years and especially since learning that Irina and Sloane were working together.   
  
"You'll have to tell him." Irina stated calmly. She knew what the other woman was thinking. "You asked Arvin for the truth, you must grant him the same."   
  
Emily looked up sharply, meeting Irina's gaze, "I knew what Arvin was doing, I've always known. He's had no reason to suspect what I've withheld from him." She paused to regain control of herself. "We've been so happy." She muttered to the floor. "Since he left the Alliance, we've been acting as we did when only just married. I can't risk losing him over this."   
  
Irina dropped back in her chair, gazing at the middle-aged women across from her, after a while she said, "He'll find out." as she reached out and grasped Emily's hand in her own. "Did he tell you where we are going?"   
  
"Moscow. He said you have a safe-house there that we will be staying at?"   
  
"I have a house just out side the city. Only a handful of people know about it, we'll be safe." Irina said then added after a moment, "Kayta will be there."   
  
Emily looked stunned for a moment before falling back into her chair as well. After a few moments of dead silence save for the noise of the plane, Emily spoke, "So that's why you've been pushing me to tell him." Irina nodded.   
  
"You know her disposition, Yelena. He'll find out, I thought it would be best for both of you that you're the one to tell him. We both know Kayta's never been diplomatic."  
  
"I have not been called that in four years." Yelena stated, her voice heavy with emotion.   
  
"I've not had the opportunity to do so since then."   
  
"And there is no way she would remain silent?" Yelena asked, changing the subject back to their younger sister.   
  
"Katya?" Irina asked, as if her sister might be joking. "They mutually hate each other. And regardless of her feelings for him, I know she missed the bond we shared. She's suppressed her emotions from everyone but us, I don't believe she will keep our secrete quite if you and Arvin show up together. She needed us again, we all needed each other." She finished in a whisper.   
  
Yelena dropped her head back yet again. It was not as if she was blind to her sisters feelings, for she too wanted to be with Kayta and Irina again but in the current situation, when they each had more things to run from than they cared to thing of, it was not the time to bring this into the mix.   
  
She weighted her options. If she did not tell Arvin it would put them all in much greater danger of being exposed. Emily did not speak Russian and had no spy skills. Yelena on the other hand , while not a former member of the KGB, had grown up in a family of KGB agents and had two sisters who were also former agents. She could shot better than Arvin and could certainly alter her appearance more effectively than he could his.   
  
Yet, if she told her husband, she risked losing all they had worked for over the last year. The life they had tried to build, away from the United States Government and most definitely away from the Alliance. She loved him, there was no question about that, but she feared what his feeling for her would be if she told him who she really was.   
  
While to anyone else, Yelena showed no signs of what she was thinking, Irina knew her well. They had never been able to hide anything from each other for long. They had often joked it was the curse of your siblings also being Russian spies. "He loves you." Irina said, looking out the window, giving her sister as much privacy as one could get an air plane. "You married him for love, not for your government."   
  
"I just hope he believes that." Yelena sighed, "No dough he'll ask why I married him given your assignment."   
  
"Just be truthful." At that, Yelena laughed, "I never thought as members of this family we'd use that word in any form. Yet, I began asking that of Arvin and now," she shook her head.   
  
"It was a bonus you know." She told Irina after a while. "I never thought I'd miss home that much. I guess I just needed to be around family. And I do love him."   
  
"Mom's death hit us all hard, Yelena. I'm glad you were there too." Irina felt tears coming to her eyes and blinked hard. It had been one month after the KGB recruited her. Her mother and father had taken a walk, her father, a long time KGB agent had been suspected of selling out to another government, to ensure his loyalty to mother Russia, Irina's mother was shot in the back of her neck as she approached the steps of their family home after returning. All three sisters had been standing in the doorway waiting for their parents.   
  
None would ever forget what happened that day.   
  
As if on cue, Yelena and Irina both reached out for the other. Grasping each other's hands they each rested their head on the other's shoulder, needed the comfort only a family member could give.  
  
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	2. Times Past

**Chapter Two** : Times Past 

Slowly the women began to move onto the years they'd spent as wives. While Irina had been ordered to marry Jack, Yelena had married Arvin because she loved him. Their husbands had been good friends before their marriages so when Jack and Irina began looking for a house they searched near Arvin and Emily's home. 

The idea was that when Arvin and Jack were on "business trips", the women would be near each other if either should need something. And, when they had children, there would always be someone to look after the kids. 

"Thank you." Irina said, causing Yelena to look up, "For looking after Sydney all those years. I was so worried when I left her. I knew Jack would take care of her, her just -" she paused, trying to put her thoughts into words, when it came to discussing her family, Irina seemed to struggle with explaining her true feelings. "-she needed a woman around." She settled with lamely. 

"There's no need to thank me for, Irina. She's my niece. In truth, Jack turned away so much after your death, I always watched over Sydney, but not in the way I should have. He loved you so much, after your death, he just caved in on himself. Not letting any one close." Shaking her head, she tried to block out the thoughts of Jack during the first year after Laura's death. 

"I know you would have done the same if the roles were reversed." It was true, Irina and her sisters had talked a great deal before Irina excepted the mission to seduce a CIA Agent and marry him. Children had of course come up, it was agreed that when it came time for her to leave, Yelena would watch over Sydney and Katya would watch from a distance. 

Since "Emily" and "Laura" had been good friends few if any questions would be asked about this arrangement. As for Kayta, Sydney had never seen her before and as long as she remained discreet, no one, save for her sisters would ever know what she was doing. 

"Arvin helped as well." Yelena spoke softly, "He's always cared for her you know." she loved her husband, despite what her sisters feelings of dislike for him and wanted to give him credit as well. 

The furry in Irina's eyes at this declaration worried her sister. "He'd never hurt her. He's her uncle." 

"I don't need to be reminded of their relationship." Irina snapped. 

Yelena tried to fight off the pain and irritation that consumed her whenever she spoke to her sisters about Arvin. "This isn't going to be easy is it?" 

"What?" Irina asked, confused by the sudden change of subject. 

"The four of us together." 

"I was thinking about the earlier. No, it won't be." Irina answered. 

"Tell me, how is it that you and Katya are able to work with Arvin but when it comes to being with him socially, your entire conversation revolves around who can kill who faster while causing the most pain?" 

Irina stared at he sister for a moment, a hit of mirth in her eyes as she thought about what Yelena just said. Kayta's last words to Arvin had been that if he upset her, Cole's "Box" was going to look like a cake walk. Understandably, as she had won the metal that the intelligence community dubbed "_Most Kills Made Using Alternative Means_", Sloane took her rather seriously. 

Realizing that Yelena was waiting for an answer, Irina explained, "Their are two reasons why I work with him, one, he has connections that have come in handy over the years, this past year especially. The other reason is, working with him allows me to see his moves. I can't explain to much of this but in my working with him now, learning how far he's come in realizing the word of Rambaldi protects Sydney. You have to believe, everything I do, is done to protect my daughter." 

"He would never hurt Sydney." Yelena said testily. 

"You've never seen his true side!" Irina snapped, with a tone matching that of her sister. 

Yelena took several shaky breaths and rubbed her hands over her face. She knew she needed to change the subject. "I always envied you and Jack. Having Sydney. Arvin's all I'll ever have. I- I'm, I mean- Not being able to," she stopped, having trouble getting the words out. 

"Out of the three of us, you deserved children the most." Irina said in a whisper. 

Yelena stood and walked over the mini bar, much like her sister had only an two house before. "If the cancer would have come just a bit later," she shook her head. "I guess when I think about it, Arvin and I never could have had children any ways. It would not have been fair to them, with his job, going away so much." 

"Tell me," Irina began, "how did you avoid getting sucked into this life?" 

"What do you mean?" Yelena asked. 

"I know you were approached by the KGB but you never joined. When Arvin began working for the Alliance you stayed clear of that as well. Why? You've always been good at the intelligence work." 

"Do you think I wanted that life Irina? We've lost both our parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends to so call "intelligence" work, I never wanted to subject my family or my friends to that." Yelena explained, a hint of vexation in her voice. 

"Does it bother you that Kayta and I chose to join?" Irina asked, they had never _really_ talked about this. In light conversation once or twice but never in-depth. 

"No," Yelena said, shaking her head. "I know you both needed to. It's part of who you are, I understand that. I've worried about you both, but I could not have changed your minds and I never had any intention of doing so." 

"Thank you." Irina told her, feeling a little better. 

Before Yelena could say anything they heard a knock and a moment later the copilot walked into their cabin. "I'm sorry to intrude, we will be landing in ten minutes." He said then quickly exited. 

Yelena began to leave when she felt Irina's hand on her arm. "When are you going to tell him?" She asked quietly. 

"When we get to your house." Yelena said, not really wanting to think about that subject again. 

"All right." Irina said, releasing her grip. She hoped that they would arrive _before_ Kayta did. 

As they entered the main cabin a sad smile touched Yelena's lips. She knew if Arvin did not take the revelation well this might be the last time she'd see him sleep. She loved watching him sleep, he looked so peaceful to her. 

She walked over to him and shook his shoulder gently. "Arvin," she said softly, "come honey, it's time to wake up." 

Irina smiled as she watched the scene in front of her. Had it been any other time she'd have laughed at her sisters cooing tone and choice of language but at the moment she could see the love her sister held for this man. Even if Irina herself wanted to gut him alive. 

"Emily," he said his voice house from sleep. 

"We will be landing soon, honey. You need to sit up." Yelena sat down next to him and held his hand. 

"Are you all right?" Arvin asked her, his eyes traveling between her and Irina. 

"I'm fine." She reassured him, "We just need to talk when we land." 

- - - - 


	3. Painful Truths

**Author's Note** : A big thank you to my Beta Reader! She helped a great deal with this chapter. 

Jumps up and down* It's working! I can actually _read_ the reviews! 

**Catherine** _: We have the same name. Thank you for your review! I hope you enjoy the updates. I was hoping this would be a surprise and I'm glad you (as well as everyone else) is taking Emily/Yelena well. _

**UndercoverElfHM** _: This has been discussed? I've not been on message boards for quite some time. Where has it been talked about? I'm glad this is orignal! Yes, I do need a Beta reader. I'm afride I've not had the best of luck finding a good one. I'm doing my best but if you see anything that really bothers you please let me know. Thank you for the review!_

**a7r4i** _: Yes! Thank you for the review! There will be another chapter or two. This is not a long fic. _

**Chapter Three : Painful Truths **

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****The remainder of the flight was silent. Irina and Yelena both thinking about the up coming talk with Arvin. Arvin still recovering from his recent nap, quite unaware of the sleeping pill his wife had dissolved in the water she'd given him earlier. Yelena wanted to be certain she and her sister had time to talk before they landed and this plan also gave her husband some time to cool down and relax. 

As they began decending Yelena saw an old Mini, orange and rusted, waiting below. Irina arranged for a contact of hers to pick them up at the abandoned air strip she had purchased through back channels shortly after the cold war. Yelena had not been back in Russia since her father died some ten years ago. Somehow, she felt comforted by this return. Even with the extreme government controls and poverty that faced the nation, she was returning to her birth place, home in a sense. She shirvered inwordly at the thought. As a girl she'd dreamt of the day she would be able to explore the world, but that dream changed into the cold reality of life. Yet, in her heart, she knew she'd made the right choice. She loved Arvin. Regardless of the murders and the lies, she'd do it all again. 

The plane hit the runway with a jerk, stirring the buttterflies in Yelena's stomach up even more. She kept her hand intertwined with Arvin's as they exited the plane, wanting to hold on for as long as she could. 

"Serge," Irina said, as a man in his early forties approached them. He had dark black hair and a dark complexion helped along by a bit of dirt. 

"Irina," she inclined her head slightly as he did the same in greeting. He took her bag and put it in the small trunk as he eyed Yelena and Arvin. 

"We should get going," Serge said as he opened the door, allowing them to enter. 

They said nothing for the first half hour of the drive. Irina and Sloane both checked their e-mail on their PDA's, writing to contacts and making sure the CIA did not have any leads on their current location. 

Yelena watched as Serge glanced into the rearview mirror again. In her opinion, he'd spent more time staring at her and Arvin than actually paying attention to the road. Finally, having had enough, she gave him a pointed glare that said quite clearly he should direct his full attention to the road if he wanted to live out the night. 

After another fifteen minutes and only a slight decrease in the glances, Yelena nugged Arvin, moving her eyes from him to Serge and back to him. She would have gladly dealt with him herself, but thought it best to let her husband do it. She had to remain Emily for a little longer. 

Getting the message, Arvin asked, "Åñòü ëè êîå-÷òî, ÷òî Âû õîòåëè áû çíàòü?" {_"Is there something you would like to know?"} _ He trusted Irina's contacts to be loyal, but he wanted to passify his concerned wife. 

"Êòî - ýòà æåíùèíà, ñ êîòîðîé Âû ÿâëÿåòåñü ëè íàñòîëüêî áëèçêèìè?" {_"Who is this woman you're so intimate with?"}_ Serge asked, noting how close the couple were sitting and the way Yelena was absentmindedly massaging Sloane's thigh. Emily remained calm while Yelena shouted a few choice words in her mind. __

__

__Arvin's eyes narrowed,"Òî, êòî îíà, íå ÿâëÿåòñÿ íè îäíèì èç âàøåãî ïðåäïðèÿòèÿ." {"_Who she is, is none of your concern."}_

"Âû âñåãäà ãîâîðèëè òàê âûñîêî î âàøåé àìåðèêàíñêîé æåíå. Ñòîëü íàèâíûé. ß íå îæèäàë âèäåòü Âàñ ñ ..."_ {__"You always spoke so highly of your American wife. So naive. I had not expected to see you with..."} _Irina cringed, she knew her sister would interrupt now. 

As expected, Yelena jumped like a caged lion, cutting Serge off, "With one what?" She spoke in English. Serge hit the brake quickly, causing the Mini to skid to a stop. 

"You..." he inquiringly uttered, he and Arvin staring at her, equally shocked she'd understood the conversation.. 

"Emily?" Arvin chocked out amid his surprise. 

"I'll explain everything when we get to the house," she told them. Katya had always had the shortest temper, but when someone hit the wrong nerve with Yelena she could make Katya or Irina's wrath seem like a cake walk. 

"You speak Russian?" Arvin asked, not appering to have heard her. 

"Äà," she replied simply. 

It was Serge that spoke next, "You're his wife?" Three heads nodded and he whistled softly. He pulled the car back onto the road and they again drove in silence. Arvin was staring out the window, having pulled slightly away from his wife. When he spoke, it was directed at Irina, "You don't seem surprised about this," he bit. 

She turned her head around and looked into his eyes. "You would do well to remember what you told Emily tonight." 

"That was certainly interesting," Serge commented as he pulled up to the back door of a small house. 

As they exited the car Yelena felt herself become more and more apprehensive. Arvin said nothing to her as they walked to the house. Irina entered and they made a quick check of each room so as to be sure no one had broken in. 

The house was small, built in the same style as those around it. There were three bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen that was just big enough to cook in and a living room. There was also a small room that Irina had turned into a make shift armory, complete with guns and any gear they might need. 

Yelena wrung her hands as she waited for Arvin to join her and Irina in the living room. Serge had left once they determented the house was in order, leaving the three of them alone. 

"You will be fine," Irina said as she walked over to her sister and gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything. Katya should be here soon also." 

"Thank you," Arvin chose that moment to enter the room. His eyes flickered between the two, but he said nothing. Irina excused herself, as she left she gently touched Sloane's arm, "Remember the lies you told before you judge her?" 

Once alone they regarded each other in a painful silence. Yelena wanted Arvin to break it first, hoping to have a better understanding of his mood. 

"What are you hiding?" he asked, resorting to a voice he'd once reserved for SD-6 interrogations. 

Yelena let out a breath she'd not realized she'd been holding in. She sat down and indicated he should do the same. 

"Know..." she began, closing her eyes for a moment as she felt tears threaten to spill over, "...that I love you. I always have." Arvin said nothing, so she contuined. 

"I should start with how I know Russian." At his nod she began, "I was born here, not far from this house actually. My father was a member of the KGB. I knew early on that I wanted nothing to do with that life. The lies and the betrayal, I just couldn't do that." She stopped again, blinking hard. 

"When I was accepted at Georgetown I was so happy. My sisters and I had always dreamt of seeing the world, but with the state of the Russian governent it was hard. Without informing me, my father forged my birth certificate and other documents. That's why the CIA background check on me identified me as Emily Parker."

"Are you saying your name is not even Emily?" Sloane bellowed. 

"I'm getting to that," Yelena said slowly. "When I met you, I can't describe it. I knew I was in love. The feelings I had when even I thought of you," she shook her head, smiling slightly. "My mother died the year before we met. My father was having a hard time dealing with her loss. I knew there was nothing to go back to. I wanted us to work so much. I thought that since you already knew me as an American there was no harm in not telling you. Especially after you met my sister." 

"What are you talking about?" Arvin asked, this time his voice was down to a whisper. 

"You asked me before what my name is. There is one thing you must know before I tell you. I was never a KGB agent. My real name is Yelena. Irina and Katya are my sisters." 

What ever reaction she'd been expecting, was certinally not this one. Arvin stared dumbfounded at her for a moment, not really knowing what to think. "_She's the third sister?"_ his mind asked. He jumped to his feet, the sudden realization hitting him hard. 

There was a coffee table between them with a glass vase on it. With one hard sweep of his hand, the vase went flying into the wall several feet away, shattering instantly. Yelena blinked, she'd never seem him like this. He'd been mad before, certainly, but he'd never lost control like this. He was fuming, his face turning redder as each moment passed. She stood, bringing herself to her full height, to face him. 

"How could you lie to me like that and claim to love me?" Arvin shouted. 

"Honesty has never been a very big part of our relationship," she snapped, her tempter getting the better of her. 

"You knew I was CIA!" 

"Of course I knew." She said, keeping her voice down. "I've known all along, CIA and Alliance. I also knew when you went off on your own." 

"What is the reason for telling me?" he asked, his voice deathly low. "Why now?" 

Tears started forming in her eyes again. "You...I was sure you would find out soon. I needed you to know how I feel about you. That I love..." 

"Don't you dare say that you love me!" he yelled, his eyes wide. "Your sister married my best friend! What do you want, are you asking me to trust you now? How can I believe a word you say, knowing who your family is?" Yelena looked as if she'd been slapped in the face. She'd known in the back of her mind that he would not take the revelation well. Yet she hoped that he would still love her. That dream was fading quickly as his words sunk in. 

"Whatever my sisters have done is their business. I've done nothing but love and stand by you for the past thirty years. I couldn't tell you at first. It would have put Irina in even greater danger. Then after she left, how did you expect me to explain all of this to you? Should I have perhaps started our conversation at dinner one night with "I'm Yelena Devrako?" Maybe it was selfish of me to want whatever I had to last. I accepted your career as a spy, but that's not me, Arvin. You can't compare our marriage to that of Irina and Jack's!" 

"You're just like her!" Arvin said, her words hitting him like a knife in his heart. She, Emily, had been the reason he'd stayed sane, she was his lifeline. She had always been the one true thing in his life, the one thing he could always count on. Now that was gone. 

"I love her. She is my sister, but we are not the same. Please do not presume our motivations are the same," Yelena pleaded, her voice amazingly controlled. She loved her sister, that was true. But she'd never liked what Irina had done to Jack. 

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," Arvin said as he reached for his coat that had fallen on the floor in their fight. "Goodbye, Yelena," he told her coldly. 

For her part, she was too distressed to do or say anything more. She watched painfully as Arvin turned away and left her alone. Her brain was screaming at her to go after him, but she could not will herself to move. Tears flowed freely from her eyes and she covered her face with her hands, dropping down onto the nearest sofa. 

* * * * 

(3/5) 

Hope everyone enjoyed it! As always, reviews are welcome! 


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